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TikTok users are buzzing about a unique flirting technique known as “sticky eyes” that’s said to capture anyone’s attention.
In a video posted Jan. 9, Chelsea Anderson, a “professional lifehacker,” explained how it works. The idea behind “sticky eyes” is to lock into a deep gaze with the person you’re interested in, using the power of your stare to spark their interest and make a lasting impression. Anderson shared that the first step in this “powerful” flirting trick is to establish eye contact. Once you’ve got their attention, the next move is to look away quickly, as if you’re caught in the act. This, she says, will hook the person you’re eyeing, creating the perfect moment for you to make your move.
“The next time that you look at them and they meet your eyes again, don’t look away. Let them break first,” the TikTok star, who boasts over 181,000 followers, said. “Because they’re going to check to see if you were looking at [them], and the second look will confirm that you were.”
Once you have their gaze, Anderson said it’s important to play hard to get. You can achieve this by looking away, averting your gaze so that you “never” look at them again, which will have them at your beck and call.
“In about 45 seconds, they will be right in front of you, as if they had been summoned psychically by you,” she claimed. “This is how to get anyone to come up to you at a bar or in a social setting.”
Anderson wasn’t the first to talk about the power of “sticky eyes.”
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While Anderson claimed to have coined the “sticky eyes” trend, the technique was actually popularized earlier in Leil Lowndes’ 1999 self-help book How to Talk to Anyone. Lowndes noted the importance of “maintaining eye contact” when using the “sticky eyes” technique. She suggested keeping eye contact with the person you’re interested in, both while they’re speaking and after they’ve finished, as this can help foster positive feelings and strengthen your connection.
In a TikTok post shared Dec. 10, 2022, relationship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson echoed a similar sentiment, reinforcing the idea that eye contact holds significant power in building connections. She explained that it can create a shared emotional bond with someone who may be interested in you. Citing research, Jackson highlighted that eye contact activates the limbic mirror system, a brain function responsible for recognizing and sharing emotions.
“So, the same neurons that are firing off in your brain, fire in mine,” she explained of what happens when you lock eyes with someone. “Another surprising thing is that you’re more likely to remember parts of the conversation…. It also obviously fosters a sense of belonging,” Jackson added, as it helps signal that you are “sharing intention” with the person of interest.
Social media users praised Jackson’s analysis, with many highlighting that eye contact not only helps set the tone for expectations and builds trust when getting to know someone but also serves as a powerful indicator of whether someone takes you seriously.
“Eye contact makes interactions more meaningful for me,” wrote one user in the comments section. “I don’t want to talk to people who don’t look me in the eye.”
Another fan penned, “Once I worked with a group of men, and as the only female in the group, I noticed in meetings they all looked at each other in the eye and asked each other’s opinions while doing so. I was often left out of this process and had to speak up or they’d just ignore me.”
Have you tried the “sticky eyes” technique? Tell us about your experience in the comments section.
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